With Easter fast approaching it’s a timely reminder for newly divorced parents, that creating new holiday memories and traditions can help their children and themselves deal with the ups and downs of this difficult time.
The following excerpt highlights 7 was parents can create new and positive holiday memories for their children post-divorce.
- Adopt a positive mindset and attitude about the holidays
Remember that spending time with your kids doing enjoyable activities is the best part of a busy season. - Plan ahead but allow for flexibility
Have a secure schedule in place for your children but give them options. Asking your kids for feedback about how they want to spend their time will encourage them to become invested in holiday activities. - Be cordial with your ex-spouse during holidays post-divorce
Don’t express anger towards your children’s other parent in front of them. Being businesslike and civil with your ex and his/her relatives can set a positive tone for the years to come. Consider communicating with your ex through email because phone conversations and texts can get emotional during the holiday season. - Be sensitive to your children’s feelings and triggers
Remember that your children are not possessions and that they have their own tender feelings to deal with during the holiday season. Do your best not to put them in the middle by making them a messenger between their parents or asking them too many questions about their time with their other parent. - Validate your children’s feelings if they express sadness or other negative emotions
Let them know that it’s okay to feel this way and you are there for them. Don’t make them feel guilty about their time away from you – they don’t need to know if you feel lonely without them. Saying things like: “It’s not going to be the same as when we all lived together, but we can still carve out some enjoyable time” can validate their feelings and help them cope. - Begin new holiday traditions that will create positive memories for you and your children
For instance, visit friends, attend a play or concert, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or enjoy a special meal prepared by all of you. Hold onto traditions and activities from the past that worked for you and your kids. - Remember to laugh and relax with your children
Laughter is one of the best ways to change a negative mood to a positive one. Take time out of every day to de-stress by doing things that you all enjoy – listen to music, work on a puzzle, or participate in other fun activities.[1]
Related Article: 5 Things You Can Do To Avoid Conflict Over the Holidays
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[1] Gaspard, T 2017, 7 Ways to Create New Holiday Traditions for Your Family Post-Divorce, DivorceMagaine.com, viewed 28 March 2018, http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/create-new-traditions-for-your-family-post-divorce
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